These nights go by unseen, only remembered by those who often forget.
That guilty thought passes through your mind, and you can’t help but wonder, what if? You tell yourself it’s not your fault, but you can’t help but want to blame yourself, just to give yourself a reason for why everything fell apart. You get mad, because you catch yourself wishing it was all the same, knowing all the time, that it never will be again. A love like that doesn’t leave you just to come back, but a real love, doesn’t leave you unmarked, you have to expect it to hurt, if it doesn’t, it wasn’t real. But, you can’t expect yourself to take all the blame. One day you will realize, I wasn’t perfect, but it was not my fault, you weren’t either, but you made yourself think you had to be, and that, was your fault. You let it be. All the time I told you it didn’t matter, it would be okay, even if I knew it wouldn’t be, I held your hand to make it better, and you pushed me away, like I was nothing, like I didn’t care, because you didn’t. You always had to look for a negative, even in the positive. You turned your head to what you felt, and agreed with what everyone else thought. You got angry, when I tried to help, you never saw what I was trying to do. All I ever wanted was you, you couldn’t see that, couldn’t trust that, and in the process of it all, I opened my eyes. I realized, that, after everything, it wasn’t worth it to you, why should it matter at all to me. The sad thing is, even after all of this, I still wish you loved me, like I love you. ♥
I don’t hate you. I hate the way you act, the things you do, the words you say, and actions you take. <3